


the thing you need most of all (is my hand to hold)

by maybethiscouldbetheline



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1, Also fluff, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith is a touch starved cinnamon roll, Lance is a touchy feely cinnamon roll, M/M, Nothing serious, SO MUCH FLUFF, You can't convince me otherwise, also what are titles and why are they so hard, because I can okay???, but Keith is definitely worse, gratuitous use of Disney movies/songs, just a natural part of their evolution, maybe some light angst towards the end there, maybe too much fluff, mostly soft boys being soft, sorry I am terrible at this tagging thing, technically canon compliant, they're both kind of bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybethiscouldbetheline/pseuds/maybethiscouldbetheline
Summary: “Look, touch starvation istotallya thing! And no offense, but we are stuck on a spaceship with two aliens who are the last of their kind and have been in, like, a cryogenic sleep state for the past ten thousand years and you arestillthe most touch starved person I have ever met!”or5 times Lance touched Keith and one time Keith touched him.





	the thing you need most of all (is my hand to hold)

**Author's Note:**

> I have the weirdest relationship with Klance. Because I watched the entire _Voltron_ series in about two weeks and the only relationship I saw was Hunk and Shay. And maybe a little Shiro and Allura in the beginning (although I do love my gay space dad). But everyone I followed on Tumblr was so into them and so I was like "okay, I'll just go look at some art and fanfics and see what all the fuss is about" and you guys... 
> 
> I _love_ this fandom. 
> 
> It is so full of incredibly talented people and I was like three fics in before I was like "yeah, I definitely ship this." And seriously, you guys, those group chat fics that basically dissolve into the entire cast exchanging memes? Those give me life. I was I was hip enough to effectively write one.
> 
> And even as I was watching the show, I was like "holy crap, someone please give Keith a hug" and then naturally that evolved into "holy crap, Lance please give Keith a hug," because damn does that poor boy need it. And thus you get this!
> 
> It's my first time writing a fic for _Voltron_ and I've only watched the series all the way through once, so sorry in advance if things don't quite line up. It was written to technically be canon compliant because even when I hate canon (which, I can't seem to decided if I do or not in _Voltron _'s case), I can never seem to just completely ignore it.__  
>  __  
> Also, I've read through this a few times, but it hasn't been looked at by anyone else's eyes, so please excuse an mistakes you see! Spanish is not my first language and what I do know of it came from a few years in high school/college several years ago and the all knowing Google, so sorry if any of it isn't right. I tried to mostly just stick to phrases, so hopefully I didn't mess anything up too badly!  
>  __  
> Enjoy!  
> 

**_**______________________________** _ **

**_there’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. warp drive… wormhole refractors… you know the thing you need most of all?_ **

**_you need a hand to hold._ **

**_-Doctor Who  
_ ** **_**______________________________** _ **

 

**1.**

 

It hasn’t been long, but Lance likes to think that he’s gotten pretty used to people trying to shoot at him on a daily basis. It’s never exactly fun and as much as Lane loves space, as much as he has always wanted to be a fighter pilot, he’s not too proud to admit that he spent his first few weeks on the Castle of Lions seriously reconsidering all of his life choices. Still, the seriousness of the situation, the reality that no matter how much he misses home, what he’s involved in –what he’s been chosen for- is infinitely more important, has settled in his bones, it feels like he’s holding something delicate and dangerous in his hands and it’s terrifying and thrilling all at once. So he flies into battle, relying on his instincts and his training and Shiro’s ability to stay calm even when it seems like certain death is looming above them. Hell, Lance is even like ninety-five percent sure he’s finally comes to terms with the very real possibility that he could die at any time. As long as he goes down in a cool Galra stopping blaze of glory.

He refuses to go out by choking on one of Hunk’s food goo experiments or something.

The one thing he will probably never get used to, though, are the mission briefs. Lance is all about action, about moving from point A to point B. He’s hardly ever still and sometimes, before he left for the Garrison, his Mamá would jokingly wonder if it didn’t have something to do with ADHD, but Lance knows better. He’s always just had a lot of energy and he likes to always have an outlet for it. And sitting around listening –first to his flight instructor and now to Shiro- has never been Lance’s strong suit. Logically, he’s knows these debriefs are important. They haven’t been working together as a team for that long, at least not as a team of five. And even for himself, Hunk, and Pidge, the dynamic is almost completely different from their team at the Garrison. So the debriefs are helpful. They can go over everyone’s actions and the reasons behind them and it really does help them to learn more about each other in a much less personally invasive way than the Altean mind meld.

This mission debrief is particularly awful though. It’s easily the most dangerous thing they’ve had to do since this whole adventure started. Not that anything they’ve done so far as been particularly safe, but Lance’s sudden acceptance of death has less to do with having the time to come to terms with it and more to do with him getting more up close and personal with it than he ever has before. Everyone had been. Well, Lance isn’t sure about Keith, but he can make a pretty good guess about Shiro, and he knows for a fact that today was Hunk and Pidge’s first real brush with death too. And while they all might have accepted that death might be inevitable, it’s still a pretty jarring experience when it almost actually happens. Even Shiro, who Lance has never quite been able to stop viewing as an unflappable hero, seems to be dragging after this.

It’s a testament to how drained they all are that Shiro had easily agreed to give them time to shower and change back into their civilian clothes before meeting up for the debrief. Listening to Shiro replay their close calling while he’s in his pajamas and blue lion slippers doesn’t make it totally better, but it definitely helps. Lance lets his eyes wander, letting Shiro’s voice wash over him as he takes in the sight of his teammates, happy just to watch the way their chests rise and fall with their breathing. Breathing means alive and Shiro debriefing means they’re safe and Lance will take alive and safe any day of the week.

His brow wrinkles when his eyes land on Keith. Not that he isn’t glad to see the red paladin alive, the genuine antagonism that had existed between them had started to dissipate once they’d all started working on being able to form Voltron. Keith is still the one who gets under his skin the most easily, but for the most part they’ve settled into some strange balance of almost but not quite friendly bickering and competition. But Keith is standing off to the side, arms crossed as he leans against a wall and body language screaming _closed off_. He’s not even in pajamas –Lance isn’t actually sure if the shorter boy even owns pajamas- and even though he looks just as drained and stressed as everyone else, he isn’t taking any comfort from the rest of them. Not the way everyone else it.

Hunk and Pidge are sitting on one side of the table they always debrief at, leaning heavily against each other and obviously trying not to fall asleep. Allura and Coran are on the other side of the table, not actually touching, but definitely crowding into one another’s personal space. Lance himself is seated at one end of the table, not touching anyone, but close enough to be a part of the group. Shiro is standing at the other end of the table; his hands placed on its surface, using it to support his weight and bring him closer to his team. Heck, even the mice are curled up on Allura’s lap, blinking sleepily up at Shiro like they can understand him. Which, at this point, Lance wouldn’t even be surprised if they could. Only Keith stands alone, isolated from everyone both by the physical distance between them and the metaphorical one that Keith puts between them.

Not, Lance thinks, with something like guilt twinging in his gut, that he’s done much to help with that.

Keith looks, Lance realizes with a jolt that wakes him much more efficiently than anything Shiro has said in the past twenty minutes, the way his nephew does when all the cousins and younger aunts and uncles are caught up in something that he hasn’t quite figured out. Something he thinks he might want to take part in, if only because the others are there, but he’s not entirely sure and he’s not entirely sure how to go about asking for it.

_Oh_. Lance thinks, eyes widening just enough for someone to notice, if any of them had had the extra energy to spare. Keith looks like he could use a hug.

“That should pretty much cover it.” Shiro’s voice startles Lance out of his sudden revelation. “I know today was tough guys,” and the black paladin’s voice is strained, but the small smile he gives them is warm and real, “but you did great out there. I’m really proud of you.”

Everyone perks up a little bit at the praise, even the mice, and as Shiro dismisses them to get some rest, Lance makes up his mind about something. He pretends to be fiddling with his tablet, the one Allura had given him and everyone else when they’d first decided they were sticking around to fight with her, while the others all slowly shuffle out of the room. He knows that Keith will be the last to leave, if only to be a minute behind so he can avoid walking with the rest of the group. When it becomes clear to the other boy that Lance isn’t leaving, Keith just sighs –and it used to always sound exasperated to Lance, but now he feels like he’s finally listening properly and it just sounds lonely- and shuffles towards the door himself. Lance knows this is his moment.

“Hey, Keith!” The taller boy jumps to his feet, moving quickly to catch up to the red paladin. “Wait up!”

Keith turns, raising an eyebrow in question, but otherwise remains unresponsive. He’s stopped walking though, so Lance will take it. He takes one last deep breath to steady his nerves, says a quick prayer that this won’t end in him getting punched in the face, then wraps his arms around Keith and pulls him into a hug.

Keith immediately freezes in his arms and Lance has him pulled so tightly against him that he can’t actually see his face, but he can make a pretty good guess at what his expression is. There’s silence for a few seconds, just long enough for Lance to think that maybe he’s going to pull this off without Keith asking any questions. Which, would be weird, but Lance isn’t the type of person to look a gift space robot lion in the mouth. But then Keith shifts, just a little, and Lance can practically hear the question wound up in the tenseness between the other boy’s shoulders.

“Uh...” When he speaks, he sounds confused. And maybe a little bit lost. “What’s happening?”

Lance refuses to break the hug, but he _really_ wants to sputter and flail and be just the tiniest bit dramatic because there is no way that Keith doesn’t know what’s going on. Not without it making Lance want to cry. They all almost died for goodness sake! But humor has always been a route that works for Lance, so he tries to keep his answer light. “Keith, my man, this is a hug.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Lance can hear Keith trying to sound condescending, but the uncertainty is evident to Lance now that he knows to listen for it. “But why are you hugging me? Aren’t we supposed to be rivals or whatever? Who hugs their rival?”

“Yeah, well...I-” Lance’s face flushes and for the first time he realizes how awkward this is, what it would look like is someone walked in (which, whatever, Lance has never been shy about appreciating beauty in any form and it’s not like he would ever be able to convincingly say that Keith wasn’t beautiful), but he doesn’t let go because holy crap does Keith need this if he thinks that Lance wouldn’t want to offer him comfort after the kind of day they’ve had today. “Look, touch starvation is _totally_ a thing! And no offense, but we are stuck on a spaceship with two aliens who are the last of their kind _and_ have been in, like, a cryogenic sleep state for the past ten thousand years and you are _still_ the most touch starved person I have ever met!”

This may not, strictly speaking, be true as Lance has probably met several people over the course of his life that he doesn’t remember meeting, but Keith is certainly the most touch starved person he actually cares about.

Then, to his complete and utter surprise, Keith heaves a sigh that shocks Lance with its intensity as he melts completely into the hug. He goes almost boneless, like all the tension has left his body in that sigh and Lance thinks he might be the only thing holding the other boy up. Keith is suddenly a solid weight against him, his forehead resting on the Cuban boy’s shoulder and he doesn’t dare move in case it snaps Keith out of whatever it is that possessed him to accept Lance’s touch in the first place. God knows he’s tired, they both are, but something about the way that Keith had just given in to it, took Lance’s explanation and his hug at face value, didn’t even bother to try and fight against it, makes Lance sure that he can stay there for a while longer.

And when Keith’s hands come up to clutch at the back of Lance’s pajama shirt –the same way that his nephew does when Lance finally notices that he’s been left out and comes to ask him to join them- making him seem small and vulnerable (at least for Keith), he knows that he’d stand there all night if he had to.

 

**2.**

 

Things change after that.

Not drastically. Keith’s ability to be naturally amazing at everything he does still annoys Lance to no end, still pushes him to go faster, try harder, and do better. And it still gets under his skin whenever he falls short. That seems to be happening less and less though. Lance feels more like he isn’t trying to constantly play catch up with the red paladin and more like they’re actually neck in neck, and sure, maybe Keith is still taunting him, but it’s friendly now, meant to encourage Lance to continue keeping up, not to push him farther behind. They aren’t rivals anymore. They aren’t necessarily friends just yet (and maybe they’re definitely getting there), but they are absolutely teammates now, equals in a way they didn’t use to be.

And it kind of feels like things had to change. Lance will never forget how, even sharper around the edges than he is now, Keith had gone soft and pliant in his arms. How badly he’d seemed to need human contact. He’s still Keith though, so it’s not like Lance touches him constantly or anything, but he is definitely more free with his touches now than he used to be. He’s not afraid to sling an arm around the shorter boy’s shoulder or pat him on the back after a job well done. On days he’s feeling especially silly, he’s even been known to give Keith a friendly hip bump.

He’d tried ruffling his hair once, but he’d very nearly lost his hand for that, so he wisely chooses to let that particular gesture of affection slide to the way side.

Keith still tends to tense up whenever Lance initiates contact, but Lance tries not to let that bother him too much. He makes himself think of the things they couldn’t help but share during the Altean mind meld and of the little bits of Keith’s past that he’s shared on the (becoming less) rare occasions that Lance can convince the other boy to join the rest of the paladins in some none training bonding moments.

(“What’s the point?” Keith had mumbled almost good naturedly the first time, “You’re just going to go and forget about it anyways.”

That’s when Lance had ruffled his hair and very nearly lost a hand. It was worth it though. Keith was surprisingly adorable when he pouted.)

He thinks about how Keith’s mom had never really been in the picture and how he’d lost his dad at a ridiculously young age and had bounced around from foster home to foster home until Shiro had come along and taken him under his wing. About how, through the mind meld, Keith’s blossoming happiness that had come with finding Shiro had also been tinged with uncertainty, settling uncomfortably around Lance almost like he’d been wearing a new shirt that was just the tiniest bit too small. About how when they form Voltron, the energy he feels from Keith tastes different from everyone else’s, flavored with something his brain wants to describe as metallic and his heart wants to describe as lonely. Keith didn’t grow up like Lance did, with brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousin and grandparents everywhere he looked. Lance had never wanted for affection a day in his life, at least not the familial kind, and it makes his chest hurt to think about Keith, who must have spent so much of his life without it that he probably hadn’t even known to miss it.

So Lance ignores Keith’s body going tense every time he touches him. The red paladin always relaxes after a few ticks and it’s not like he’s shy. If he didn’t want Lance to touch him, he would obviously say so.

That’s the mentality Lance takes with him when he moves towards the couch, dropping onto it next to Keith, close enough that their shoulders brush whenever they shift. He even casually throws his arm across the back of the couch so that it’s lying behind Keith. And since this isn’t a date, he doesn’t have to do that classic “pretend to yawn” maneuver. The other boy tenses, as per usual, but by the time Lance offers up the bowl of the Altean version of popcorn, he’s already relaxed back into the cushions of the couch, not exactly leaning on Lance, but not pulling away either. He doesn’t even look over at the blue paladin, just grabs a handful of the alien snack and continues watching Pidge as she sorts through all their newly acquired Earth movies.

They’d made a second trip to the space mall shortly after their first...interesting trip there. This time, they’d brought both Shiro and plenty of money with them. They’d left Shiro with Keith to wander and explore, while he, Hunk, and Pidge had immediately headed back to the Earth store and purchased as many Earth movies as they possible could. There isn’t really a whole lot time for movie nights, what with the inter-galactic war they’re fighting in, but occasionally they find nights like tonight where everything that needs doing is either done or running using a program Pidge created that doesn’t require constant babysitting.

“Guys,” Lance joins in on the spirited debate that Hunk and Pidge are having about which movie to watch, “obviously we _have_ to watch _Moana_.” Everyone turns to stare at him, blinking in silent confusion at this choice. “What?” Lance gestured dramatically as he defends his choice, jostling Keith in the process. “My Hawaiian _princesa_ is fierce! And the songs in that movie are amazing. Also,” He grabs a few pieces of the alien popcorn, “the store didn’t have _Coco_.” He concludes his argument by tossing a... whatever the Altean word for kernel is into the air, catching it in his mouth, and then beaming at the rest of his team.

“I wouldn’t mind watching _Moana_.” Shiro says as he settles down on the other side of Keith, although with considerably more space between them than Lance had allowed.

“And Coran and I have never seen any Earth movies, but I’m sure any movie about a princess will be delightful.” Allura adds as she and Coran come to sit on the other couch in the room.

Once Allura agrees to it, Lance knows he’s won. All of the paladins are terribly weak when it comes to saying no their own princess. And sure enough, Hunk and Pidge share a look before shrugging and the matter is settled. Hunk takes a seat and Pidge does her techno wizardry to make the blu-ray work with the technology on the ship. And Lance grins, because the atmosphere on the ship hasn’t been this light in a while. Not with the war getting more and more serious every day. Everyone easily gets absorbed in the movie, even though five of the ship’s seven occupants have seen the movie before

(“I was living in the desert, Lance, not under a rock”)

and Lance is so glad everyone is enjoying it that he promises himself he won’t even make fun of Shiro for the way he knows all the words to “You’re Welcome” and sings them less than quietly while Keith shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He is absolutely going to sing it every time he and Shiro are in the same room from now on though. He has to. He’s pretty sure he isn’t capable of not doing it. He might even be able to convince Pidge to sing it with him. Allura and Coran both love the Kakamora, even though Lance insists they shouldn’t love them because they’re the bad guys and _come on!_ that’s like loving Haggar’s cat!

It’s not until they’re towards the end, watching Moana sing with the spirit of her grandmother (which, Lance is definitely _not_ tearing up at, at least not as badly as Hunk, who is openly sniffling) that Lance realizes something has changed.

Keith must have fallen asleep at some point during the movie and now he is completely slumped over, his head resting on the back of the couch, but the majority of his weight resting against Lance. The small bit of space that the blue paladin had left between them is gone; they’re touching from shoulder to knee as the sleeping Keith seeks out the warmth Lance provides. It’s not terribly obvious, Lance can really only tell because he’s the one Keith is leaning on, but he does see Shiro shoot a curious glance at them when Lance tries to subtly adjust the arm he’d had around the back of the couch to be closer to being around Keith’s shoulders with the hope of helping the other’s boys neck feel a little better when they have to wake him. He doesn’t say anything about it though and neither does Lance and he’s pretty sure it’s because they’re both just really glad that Keith finally feels secure enough to fall asleep in front of them.

So when the movie ends, Lance casually suggests they watch another before leaving Hunk and Pidge to sort out which one it will be. If anyone notices the way Lance’s fingers move to curl almost protectively over Keith’s shoulder (or that they stay there for the next two and a half movies) until Keith wakes up in the middle of Maverick, Goose, and a bar full of drunken pilots singing “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling,” they don’t mention it.

And if anyone else besides Lance notices that the next time they form Voltron, Keith’s energy tastes a little less like _loneliness_ and a little more like _home_ , well...they don’t mention that either.

 

**3.**

 

They’re back at the space mall. There’s no shopping list this time. Lance honestly isn’t even sure if anyone brought any money with them. He’s sure no one is really in the mood for actual shopping anyways. The irony of four teenagers in a mall and miserable isn’t lost on Lance, but it’s the only place any of them could think to go where they would be (relatively) safe and wouldn’t have to think about Voltron.

None of them are taking the loss of Shiro particularly well.

Pidge has made herself a pretty permanent fixture at the castle’s database computer, going through every file she can find on the Galra. Hunk spends all of his time in the kitchen, cooking everything and anything he can get his hands on and sinking a little more into himself every time a dish doesn’t come out the way he wants it to. Coran spends most of his time in the castle’s engine room, fixing things that don’t really need fixing. Allura goes into the room that used to hold the memories of her father whenever she can, starring at the pedestal where his hologram used to be, like if she concentrates hard enough she’ll still be able to ask him what to do next. Keith retreats back to the training room, fighting simulation after simulation, like pushing himself to his limits, and the pushing even farther, will magically set off Shiro’s “space dad” senses and the black paladin will return just to tell Keith to take care of himself.

And Lance...

Lance just goes from one friend to the next: carrying Pidge to her room because she’s fallen asleep at the computer again and she’s too young to have cricks in her next, trying every dish Hunk creates, swallowing them down even though they both know it tastes awful, handing Coran the tools he needs and asking questions about the mechanics of the ship even though the older Altean must know he really doesn’t understand a word of it, because that’s a topic that’s safe, making sure Allura has food and a shoulder to cry on if she needs it, physically putting himself between the simulated fighter and Keith because he knows Keith would never purposefully hurt him and it’s the only way the taller boy has found to get him to stop training.

So Lance just goes around in a seemingly never ending cycle of helping his friends keep it together, because he knows that if he stops, even for a moment, he’s going to fall apart himself.

It had taken nearly seven sleep cycles for Lance to convince the others to take a small trip to the space mall. But he knows they can’t keep wandering around the castle aimlessly, avoiding each other and the question that everyone is thinking but no one is willing to actually acknowledge. The one about the black lion and Voltron and where they’re all supposed to go from here. It’s awful, because the last time they had been here it was so much lighter, almost perfect except for the whole war. And the longer the war had lasted, the more Lance had realized that it could really end in death for them.

He’d always just sort of assumed that if they went down, they’d all go down together.

But now they’re here, in the space mall without their space dad, their leader, and even though it’s just a _mall_ (a space mall, in the middle of an intergalactic war zone), none of them seem to know where to go or what they want to do.

Until Hunk’s stomach growls and the yellow paladin sighs in defeat. “Guess I’ll, uh, go check out the food court.” Lance has never heard him sound less enthusiastic about the prospect of a good meal.

“I’ll go to the Earth store. Maybe they’ll have...” Pidge adjusts her glasses as she searches for something she can pretend to be interested in looking for. “...something.” She finally finishes quietly, because even a copy of her favorite video game wouldn’t really distract her right now.

“I should probably go check on acquiring spare parts for the castle.” Coran points listlessly in the direction of the store he wants. “Never know when you might need them.”

“I think I shall accompany you.” Allura says simply and it’s not fair. It’s her first time in a space mall! She should be rushing from one store to the next, looking at everything that catches her eye.

With that, everyone walks off in different directions, leaving Lance alone with Keith.

Lance has apparently become Keith’s official...not keeper exactly, but after the first couple of times Lance had publically invaded the other boy’s personal bubble and hadn’t immediately been shoved away, the others had reached some kind of unspoken conclusion and he had been added to the list of “People That Can Handle Keith When He’s Being Emo.” Considering the only other person on the list ~~is~~ ~~was~~ is (it’s still hard to accept the fact that he’s gone, okay?) Shiro, it’s probably not surprising that everyone has left Keith in what they think are Lance’s very capable hands.

But, honestly, Lance doesn’t even know how to start with this. They’re friends now, for sure, and as Hunk and Pidge had started to spend more time together becoming alien tech pros and Shiro and Allura spent most of their time doing leader-y things, he and Keith had kind of naturally gravitated towards one another, but it’s not like they’re suddenly having sleepovers where they share gossip and life stories and braid each other’s hair (although, growing up with sisters had given Lance an appreciation –and talent- for doing hair and Keith’s mullet is practically begging to be braided). It’s not like he has any idea how to reach Keith now. Not with something like Shiro’s disappearance hanging over them.

The last time Shiro had gone missing (presumed dead, but really lost in space –which is probably why it’s so hard for Keith –for any of them- to accept it and move on), Keith had completely disappeared. And even though they’d probably said a grand total of ten words to each other the entire time they’d been at the Garrison, it had left Lance kind of floundering. Because maybe the rivalry had been entirely in Lance’s head (at least until he’d opened his mouth and brought it into space with them), but he’d used it to push himself. He’d wanted to be as good as the other boy and when he wasn’t there, when Lance had suddenly found himself with nothing to push against, he’d tripped and gone flailing and it had shown in his simulator times and scores. And Lance doesn’t want that to happen again. Not now, when he would be losing so much more than last time, now that they’re finally friends.

Especially not since he’s realized that, for all his lone wolf tendencies, Keith needs people in his life more than anyone.

The red paladin will run straight into battle, barrel head first into any army of Galra soldiers with nothing but his bayard and maybe a half formulated plan. But he will run away from anything that has to do with emotions. Lance has seen it happening ever since they lost Shiro, can see it now even, when they’re supposed to be relaxing in the mall; the way Keith is constantly tenses, poised to turn and run, flee the mall, and the castle and the smothering wrongness that is Shiro’s absence. Except that he can’t just run. Keith may be the hot-headed emo kid with the shittiest past Lance has personally known a person to have, but he’s got a good heart and he would never leave them with two lions out of commission.

So he’s running away the only way he can, retreating so far into himself that it’s almost worse than when they first found the lions and started this whole crazy adventure. And it makes Lance chest ache in a way that he doesn’t have time to analyze, because they’re _all_ falling apart, drifting aimlessly in grief and if they don’t find some solid ground to stand on soon, something is going to give and Lance can’t shake the horrible feeling in his gut that it’s going to be Keith. He refuses to let that happen. Lance is going to keep his space family together even if that means he has to physically grab a hold of them himself.

Which is probably why, when Keith shifts, goes to wander somewhere else on his own, Lance does what he’s always done best –act first, think it over later- and grabs the other boy’s hand, stopping him in his tracks.

Keith looks down at their joined hands, looks back up at Lance, and simply raises an eyebrow. But he’s no tenser than he has been lately, which Lance counts as a win.

“I, uh, I have something I want to show you.” He says in response to the unasked question in Keith’s raised brow, pointing in a random direction behind him. “It’s this way?”

He obviously has no idea what kind of stores lay in wait behind him, but Keith is kind enough –or indifferent enough- not to call him on it. He just lets his shoulders sag and nods once before letting the taller boy pull him in that direction. And Lance almost kind of hopes that there’s some kind of alien mattress store because Keith looks absolutely wrecked –Lance isn’t sure if he’s even really sleeping anymore- and he’s not above using an alien mattress store as an excuse to force Keith into a nap.

There’s unfortunately no mattress store, but they do find a shop that sells the space equivalent of motorcycles that Keith takes a half-hearted interest in, so Lance pretends that was his destination all along and hopes this will help cheer Keith up. He still doesn’t let go of Keith’s hand though. The shorter boy is relaxing in increments and Lance likes to think he knows Keith well enough by now to know that the human contact is helping. So if his palms are sweaty or something, Keith is just going to have to deal with it, because Lance isn’t letting go until the tension leaves his shoulders and he doesn’t look like the weight of the world is crushing down on him.

Or, at least until he looks like he knows he has people to share the burden with.

And that’s where Pidge finds them sometime later, still standing in the same store as Keith talks to the employee about things that have long since started going over Lance’s head, sounding more alive and interested in something than he has since that final battle with Zarkon. The fact that Pidge doesn’t even bat an eye at the fact that they’re holding hands speaks volumes about Lance’s commitment to making sure that Keith doesn’t spend his time in space as touch starved as he spent his time on Earth. Instead, she just stands in front of Lance, looking shy of all things, for just long enough that it captures Keith’s attention too.

“I,” She fidgets nervously for a half a tick before holding up a copy of _Coco_ , a movie that Lance has always loved and used to watch at the Garrison whenever he was feeling homesick. “I found this at the Earth store. So I bought it. For you.”

Lance smiles gently as he takes the movie from her and he can’t help the fact that he tears up a little bit, because this  movie is a piece of home for him in a way that nothing else they’d found last time had been. Before he can thank her, Pidge has her arms wrapped around his middle and she’s hugging him like her life depends on it. Her face is pressed against his chest, probably to hide the tears collecting in her own eyes, so her voice is muffled, but Lance and Keith both still catch her quiet “thank you,” as she hugs him tighter.

He places a hand on top of her head, still smiling fondly at the girl who’s become like a sister to him. “You’re welcome.” He tells her softly.

His eyes flicker over to Keith when the other boy gives his hand a quick squeeze and he’s greeted by the sight of a tentative smile, small, but still clearly filled with Keith’s own quiet “thank you.”

And standing there, with Keith not quite back to normal, but certainly better, and Pidge’s sniffles muffled into the fabric of his favorite blue shirt, Lance knows that it might be slow going, but, eventually, they’re all going to be okay.

 

**4.**

 

It’s movie night again.

There’s almost definitely better ways that the paladins could be spending their time. They still have no idea what Lotor is up to after all. He’s obviously not on their side, but he doesn’t seem to be completely against them either and honestly, just thinking about it gives Lance a headache. But this night is necessary in its own way. They haven’t had Shiro back for very long and he’s still not back to how he used to be before he was captured. He hasn’t been quite himself since they got him back and they’re all a little worried. Not that Lance or any of the others can blame him. This will make it twice now that Shiro has been captured and probably tortured by the Galra. Lance only says probably because Shiro can’t remember what happened to him before he woke up one day and managed to escape.

Lance doubts very much that they were sitting around having the Galra version of a tea party though.

Not remembering has clearly put the older male on edge, which in turn has put everyone else on edge. He hasn’t even tried to see if he can still pilot the black lion since he woke up from his time in the sleep pod, even though it’s obvious that Keith would like nothing more than to hand the reins of leadership back to the black paladin. As much as Lance wants to see his idol (he’s caught Shiro in the kitchen making coffee and singing Disney songs loudly and sometimes off-key on more than one occasion, but he’s still sure he’ll never be able to stop seeing Shiro has his idol) back in action –Keith isn’t a bad leader. He’s not. He’s just inexperienced,-  Shiro still sometimes starts shaking unexpectedly and even though it’s usually Keith who handles them, they’ve all had to help Shiro through a panic attack. It’s to be expected, after everything he’s gone through, but it’s still stressful.

It was probably naïve of them, but there had been this collective sigh of relief when they’d found Shiro floating through space. A sense that now that he was back things could finally go back to normal. Or whatever counted for normal when you spend the majority of your days flying giant space robot lions that join together to form a giant space robot man, which just so happens to be the universe’s most powerful weapon against evil. When Shiro had finally healed, he had still been Shiro, but there’d been something different about him. Something barely noticeable and it’s caused a subtle shift in the atmosphere that’s keeping everyone tense. It had quickly become apparent that they had their friend back, but nothing was actually going to be same and they’d had to find yet another new sense of normal (that makes at least three times in less than a year and it’s honestly exhausting).

They all definitely deserve this night off.

Lance plans to start with a Disney movie, because he feels like things will start to feel a little more normal if he can get Shiro even just mumbling the words to a song.

They’re all crowded into the room that was almost certainly not meant to be a movie room when the castle was built, but it’s the only thing any of them have ever used it for. Allura and Coran are on the smaller couch and Hunk is on the floor with a pile of blankets and pillows for himself and Pidge to share. Lance and Shiro both sit on opposite ends of the longer couch and when Keith enters a few ticks later with a bowl of actual popcorn (thank you, Earth store), he drops down in between them, considerably closer to Lance than to Shiro. He shoots them a curious look (probably more surprised by Keith being the one to set the distance between them rather than the actual lack of distance), but no one else pays them any mind so he returns his attention to where Pidge is putting _Coco_ into whatever it is that plays their blu-rays.

The truth is, it’s not weird for Keith to seek Lance out anymore. When Shiro had gone missing, as everyone had finally started healing, Keith had started turning to Lance for more and more things that he needed. As Lance became Keith’s right hand man in Voltron, he also became his confidant outside of it. It wasn’t uncommon for them to spend their free time together anymore, talking about missions, worrying about how Allura was adjusting to flying Blue (amazingly, of course, she and Blue seem to be made to fly together), about what they’re next step was. Even about the best ways to go about finding any news concerning Shiro’s fate. They were real, proper friends now. Somewhere along the way, Keith seems to have finally accepted that he’s human and therefore he’s meant to touch and be touched and belong to a group and so he’s much more willing to accept Lance’s frequent invasions of his personal space.

Lance had kind of wondered if that would change now that Shiro is back and he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s both relieved and the tiniest bit smug that it hasn’t.

“Okay.” Pidge scrambles back to the nest that she and Hunk had created earlier. “We’re good to go.” She smirks. “Place your bets.”

Keith groans and Lance bursts into laughter.

“I’m sure he’ll at least make it through the first movie. “ Allura, ever the optimist, offers up almost immediately.

“I don’t know...” Coran twirls his mustache, glancing over at the other couch. “It’s been a very busy few quintants. I’m not sure he’ll even make it through the beginning.”

Keith crosses his arms and sinks lower into the couch with a pout on his face. Shiro looks understandably confused; the bets hadn’t started until after he’d gone missing after all and Lance laughs louder as Hunk notices the other man’s confusion and explains what they’re doing. Movie nights still aren’t that frequent, but they happen often enough that the others can say with certainty that Keith will fall asleep. He does it every time. He usually ends up asleep on Lance, mainly because the blue paladin is always the one closest to him. He’s not a drooler, thank goodness, but even if he had been, Lance would have dealt with it. Because he’s just a good friend like that. They’d started taking bets about it almost as soon as they’d realized this was a habit. Because they’re all ~~terrible~~ (Keith’s opinion) awesome (everyone else’s opinion) friends like that.

Shiro bursts into laughter himself as soon as Hunk finishes explaining. “In that case,” he leans over and ruffles Keith’s hair affectionately, completely ignoring the way the shorter boy glares at him, “he definitely won’t make it to the credits.”

Hunk rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I’m putting my bet on him falling asleep before the first half of the movie is done.”

Pidge shakes her head. “Nah. He’ll make it through the first half of the movie.” Her grin is only a little wicked as she continues. “He’ll definitely be asleep before we learn Hectór’s real identity though.”

“I’m right here you guys!”

“Yeah,” Lance nudges his shoulder playfully, “you always are.” He turns to face the rest of their friends. “Also, _aficionados_ ,” he grins, “he’s obviously going to fall asleep before the first half of the movie.” Hunk grins at Lance’s apparent agreement. “But,” the Cuban boy continues, “he’ll wake up before the movie ends and then be back to sleep before the second movie starts.”

Everyone blinks at him. “That,” Pidge says as she adjusts her glasses, “is oddly specific.”

Lance shrugs. “I stand by my choice.”

“Can we just start the movie now, please?” Keith begs from where he’s still trying to avoid embarrassment by hoping the couch will swallow him whole.

“Alright, alright.” Pidge waves her hand in his direction and starts the movie. “But only because you said please.”

They all watch the movie in relative silence and Lance is disappointed when Shiro doesn’t even mouth the words to “Remember Me,” even though he knows for a fact that he knows them.  Then, just before the halfway point in the movie, Lance feels Keith go boneless against him and that does make him feel better. If someone had told him several pheobs ago that he would know Keith Kogane well enough to know how he slept through movie nights, he would have scoffed at the idea of even _having_ movie nights with the other boy, let alone knowing him well enough to know his sleep pattern. But here they are, Keith asleep against him and Lance will always love Hunk and Pidge both, but maybe Keith has slowly become his best friend. He can’t say if it would have happened if it hadn’t been for Voltron, but this war had thrown them together and they’d had no other choice but to become friends.

And maybe Lance wouldn’t have it any other way.

Plus, it’s always fun rubbing it in Hunk and Pidge’s faces when he wins.

Sometime after Keith falls asleep, Lance’s hand must travel to Keith’s hair, because when the red paladin starts making the little grumbly noises that mean he’s slowly waking up, Lance realizes that he’s carding his fingers through Keith’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp. It’s softer and fluffier than he’d expected it to be, which does nothing to quell Lance’s weird desire to braid it. Lance pauses from quietly singing along with Miguel to “Proud Corazón” to glace down at his sleepy friend, but he doesn’t stop moving his fingers. He can see Keith’s eyes blinking open, squinting against the glow of the movie screen. He opens his mouth to tell everyone that he’s awake, but then Keith hums contentedly and sinks even further into Lance’s side. Knowing that Pidge and Hunk (and maybe even Shiro) will do anything they can to keep Keith awake so that Lance doesn’t win, the blue paladin just shifts to accommodate more of Keith’s weight and continues his ministrations.

“It’s okay, _rojito_ ,” He whispers softly, “go back to sleep.”

Keith blinks a few more times, makes some more of those unfairly adorable grumbly noises, and then lets his eyes drift back shut. Lance glances around to see if anyone has noticed what just happened, but they’re all too busy enjoying the movie to pay him and Keith any mind.

Just this once, Lance doesn’t mind losing.

And he wishes he could trap this moment in time and keep it with him forever. He’s warm and strangely at peace for still being in the middle of fighting a war. Keith is making sleepy snuffly noises against his side as sleep slowly takes him. Hunk and Pidge are both teary eyed, but smiling. Allura and Coran are both clearly enchanted by the movie, minds finally not on the war for the first time in a while. And Shiro...Shiro is a little teary eyed himself, but he’s singing quietly along with Miguel and Lance’s heart swells.

His space family is here. They’re safe. And no matter what this war throws at them, Lance knows with a certainty he can’t quite explain, that they will always find a way to come together like this again to watch movies that make them cry from happiness and sing Disney songs to their hearts content. So Lance just lets his fingers slide a little further up Keith’s scalp and joins Shiro in his quiet singing, savoring the moment for all it’s worth.

_“Our love for each other will live on forever in every beat of my proud corazón.”_

 

**5.**

 

Lance never used to be a light sleeper, but war had taught all the paladins to be able to wake up at a moment’s notice and Lance can’t even sleep with his headphones on anymore, he’s so used to being constantly on high alert. The bad guys aren’t exactly considerate of the paladin’s sleep schedule after all and as much as he misses falling asleep to the soothing sound of the ocean, he doesn’t want Voltron to be missing a right arm because he’s sleeping peacefully and blissfully unaware that anything is even wrong. Plus, Pidge had started getting pretty creative in the ways she’d wake him up when he slept through Allura’s practice alarms.

So almost a phoebe ago, he would have most definitely slept through the soft knocking at his door. Now though, it doesn’t instantly put him on high alert (not like that time Pidge had convinced the mice to crawl into his mouth), but it does drag him out of dreamland and back to the reality that is his room on the Castle of Lions.

It takes him a tick to register what exactly he’s hearing and another one to drag himself out of his warm bed and stumble to the door. Whatever this is, it’s clearly not an emergency, and Lance is going to sufficiently chew out whoever is on the other side of that door (his money is on Hunk or Pidge), because he’s not really in the mood to deal with anyone or anything right. Lotor and Allura are still getting along famously and even though he’d mostly gotten the hurt out of his system with his recent pity party with mice, it still stings –feels a little bit like abandonment for some reason that Lance has yet to figure out- and he’s just not sure he has the energy. Still, he’s a good teammate and friend, so he answers the door even though his eternal clock says he’s only been sleeping for a few vargas.

He very nearly shuts it again at the sight that greets him on the other side.

Keith stands there, still in his Blade of Mamora armor, looking for all the world like he isn’t quite sure how he got to be in front of Lance’s door in the middle of the castle’s sleep cycle. And if Lance wasn’t so sleepy, he’d probably be confused about what Keith is doing in the castle at all. He’s not due back from his current Blade mission for another movement, at least. But, as it stands, his brain only has energy to process one emotion at a time and the strongest one wins out. Anger it is then.

“What do you want?” His tone is harsher than is strictly necessary, even if he has just been woken up in what is essentially the middle of the night.

But he doesn’t care, because Keith _left_ , just up and ran off with the Blade of Mamora as soon as he possibly could and then spent two _deca-pheobs_ on a space whale and then came back taller and more confident and with no time for the Lance he’d left behind.

Keith winces, obviously picking up on Lance’s less than warm welcome. “Uh...” he shuffles like he’s nervous and Lance can’t help the snarky little _good_ that runs through his mind. “Sorry. I just-there was some stuff with the mission and I- just, um, nevermind?” He shrinks into himself as he tries to get his words out, looking small and vulnerable and closed off in a way that Lance hasn’t seen since he hugged him all that time ago. “I’ll just...go.”

And Lance is almost as mad at himself as he is at Keith. Because the other boy was on a space whale for two _deca-pheobs_ with a mom he barely knew and if he’s standing outside of Lance’s room at god knows what time in the sleep cycle, then it’s pretty obvious what he wants. Even if he’s so emotionally stunted he doesn’t actually know how to ask for it. And Lance is still angry, still feels abandoned and brushed off and several other things he hasn’t bothered to decipher, but he’d also become terribly weak in regards to Keith the moment the (used to be) shorter boy had gripped the back of Lance’s shirt like he was trying to hold on to the only hug he was ever going to get.

Plus, they’re family. And you don’t hate family just because they leave you behind or date someone you think they shouldn’t. That’s not how loving someone works. Even when it hurts.

Lance signs in defeat. “No, it’s okay. You can come in.” He steps back, rubbing sleep from his eyes and ushering the other boy in.

Keith blinks, looking like he isn’t quite sure he totally believes him, but he steps into the room after a few ticks, moving cautiously like maybe he’s crossing a mine field. Which, for all Lance knows, could be exactly how he feels. He looks around the room like he’s never seen it before and Lance wonders if he’s just using that as an excuse to not have to look at Lance or if he forgets sometimes that it hasn’t been nearly as long for everyone else as it was for him, if he keeps expecting things to be different and being surprised when they aren’t. Lance is still a little too emotionally raw to ask that question though, not ready to go where that conversation might take them just yet, so instead of asking any questions that might be on the tip of his tongue, he moves to his dresser and starts looking for another sleep shirt.

“You wearing boxers, mullet?”

“W-what?!” Lance turns to find Keith spluttering and his face so flushed that the blue paladin wonders if he’s running a fever.

Then his tired brain catches up with his mouth and he shakes his head quickly, his own face heating up a little. “No, sorry.” He shakes his head again. “I didn’t mean-I just meant that it’s how ever late and if we’re going to talk or platonic cuddle or whatever, we’re doing it while lying down and it’s _not_ happening in your Blade armor.” He tosses the sleep shirt he’d pulled out of the dresser to Keith, who probably only catches it out of reflex, because he still looks like Lance’s question has short circuited his brain. “Or your tighty whities.”

“N-no, um-” Keith clears his throat and seems to come back to himself, though his face is still kind of red. “No, I’ve got my own boxers. Thanks.”

Lance just shrugs and moves to lie back down on his bed. He scoots closer to the wall than he normally sleeps and closes his eyes to give Keith some privacy. “Awesome.” Then there’s silence except for the shuffling of Keith actually getting out of his armor (Lance was sure he would have realized where he was and run off by now) and into Lance’s shirt. The Cuban boy doesn’t acknowledge his presence again until he feels the bed dip next to him, but when he rolls over and finds Keith perched at the very edge of the bed, poised like he’s still preparing to run away, Lance rolls his eyes.

“I don’t bite, you know.” He laughs humorlessly. “Well, unless you’re into that short of thing.”

Keith huffs in annoyance, but the joke does its job –no matter how poorly delivered it was- because he lies down, getting under the covers himself and mirroring Lance’s position so that they’re both on their side staring at each other. The lights in his room sense that movement has stopped and they turn off, leaving both boys surrounded by darkness and each other. There’s a few dobashes of silence while the let their eyes adjust to the dark and Lance tries to figure out the best way to do this that will minimize the potential for awkward morning boners (of course there will be morning boners, or end of sleep cycle boners, or whatever, but Lance would like to make them as not awkward as possible, thanks).

Finally he realizes that there really is no way to totally avoid them so he just accepts his fate and turns back over onto his back before making what must look like very weird grabby hand in Keith’s direction. “C’mere.”

It probably says something about how touch starved Keith must be feeling that he moves almost immediately to Lance despite how weird this whole thing is. Lance arranges them both to his liking (as is his ‘big spoon’ right), resting Keith’s head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him, letting his hand move soothingly up and down his arm. It’s pretty odd, because neither of them are exactly built to be the little spoon and it’s not like they’ve been doing this regularly to have had the chance to get used to it, but Keith relaxes easily enough into the embrace so it works.

“Is this okay?” He asks after they’re both settled.

“Uh...yeah?”

Lance is momentarily confused by the surprise in Keith’s voice until he realizes that he has never actually asked permission to invade Keith’s personal space before. He’s always just done it. Just wedged himself into the red paladin’s life like he was his job. He’d seen a need in the lone wolf of their team, a need that he could fix, and decided he would fix it. And he’d always trusted Keith to tell him if he didn’t want it, if he went too far or did too much. And he realizes with an unpleasant pain in his chest that he’s not sure how true that is anymore.

The thing is, Lance doesn’t entirely know where he stands with this new Keith.

Not just the Keith who spent two deca-pheobs on a space time warp whale, but the one who left for the Blade of Mamora at all. He knows the Blade is the reason Keith found his mom (and a super cool space wolf) and could never begrudge him that, not when he’d spent most of the first half of his life so far without any kind of family. But for a while there, even after getting Shiro back, it had felt like he and Keith had become a team, a unit all their own. Like how Hunk and Pidge were. They were really equals, friends, and teammates. But Keith hadn’t even mentioned the possibility of him leaving to work with the Blade to Lance. The (used to be) teller boy had found out at the same time as everyone else had. After everything they’d been through, Lance hadn’t even been worth asking for opinion on this thing that was going to affect the whole team.

Like that whole time Keith had been leader, he’d just been doing what he thought he needed to, just biding his time until he could run away again.

He’d left Lance alone with an Allura who spent all her free time with Lotor, a team Punk that Lance would never want to come between, even if he thought he could, and a Shiro that was becoming less and less Shiro-like as time went on and who certainly wanted nothing to do with Lance. Not anymore.

And when he’d come back, he’d been taller and more confident and his shoulders had _definitely_ gotten broader and he’d been too busy to even talk to Lance outside of official Voltron business. It had felt like being back at the Garrison all over again, with Lance constantly struggling to keep up. Except instead of Keith being completely unaware that there was even a competition going on, this time it feels like he was purposefully left behind. Like Keith couldn’t even be bothered to look back and see what had happened to the guy who used to walk beside him.

Which seems like a ridiculous thought when Keith is here, in his bed of all places, completely of his own free will. But Lance can’t help how his mind works.

He blinks once, bringing himself out of his headspace and back into his bedroom before he can get trapped there. It’s never a good day when that happens. In effort to avoid letting it happen again (because it’s always easiest to fall into it when the room is dark and quiet, even if he isn’t alone), he turns his attention to Keith. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The few ticks of silence don’t surprise him and neither does the quiet “no” that eventually follows it. What does surprise him is that after some more silence, Keith parrots his own question back at him. “Do _you_ want to talk about it?”

He isn’t surprised that Keith has picked up on the fact that something is bothering him. He wasn’t exactly trying to hide it and they were getting pretty good at reading each other before Keith ran away to join the Blade (someday he knows he’ll stop thinking of it as running away, but right now he’s still angry and it’s the only words his heart will allow), but he is surprised Keith mentions it. Even at their closest, emotions had always been Lance’s forte and most of what he’d gotten Keith to open up about had come from a process similar to pulling teeth.

But miscommunication had kind of always been their thing, so he doesn’t even bother to feel guilty when he copies Keith’s “no” (well, he doesn’t feel _too_ guilty at least).

There’s just enough silence after that to make Lance think that maybe the conversation really is over, when Keith uses a different tactic and tries again. “Are you still mad at me?”

Lance doesn’t even hesitate. “Yeah.” He nods into the darkness even though he knows Keith can’t see him. “Pretty furious actually.”

“Then-” Keith sounds hesitant and Lance is just mad enough to hate that he feels awful about it. “Then why are you doing this?”

This conversation Lance can have. He knows exactly how they ended up here, platonic cuddling on his bed. “Because you had that look again.”

“What look?” Lance also hates that he can perfectly picture the confused wrinkle that is almost definitely between Keith’s eyebrows right now.

“That one you had the first time I hugged you.” He pulls Keith a little closer without really thinking about it. “You needed it so badly that you basically melted into it even though I thought you hated me.”

There’s some silence as Keith digests this information before, “I-I never hated you.”

Logically, Lance knows that, has known it for quite some time, but a part of him must have needed to hear it anyways, because the angry knot in his stomach loosens, just a little bit.

“Well I know that _now_.” He replies and it’s almost teasing except for how his next words are serious. “I don’t ever want to see you look like that again, okay man? Whatever else happens, you don’t have to be afraid of asking for affection. Not from me.”

“Touch starvation is _totally_ a thing...” Keith mimics, but his voice is light and Lance can feel his smile against his chest. The angry knot loosens just a little bit more with the knowledge that Keith has carried those words with him for so long.

“And you are _still_ the most touch starved person I know.” He finishes. They laugh together quietly and for the first time in a long time, Lance feels like it’s going to be okay.

Not yet but...eventually.

His laughter ends abruptly as he yawns and he’s suddenly reminded of how tired he is. “Sorry.” He tries to tell the other boy, but it’s cut off by another huge yawn.

He feels Keith shake his head. “No, it’s okay. We should really get some sleep. But, uh, thank you.”

“Of course, man. Any time.”

They fall into a much more comfortable silence after that and it doesn’t take long for Lance to feel his eyes slip shut and his breathing begin to even out. Just before he slips back into the warm grasp of unconsciousness, he thinks he hears Keith mumble something into his chest that sounds like ‘I love you.’

When Lance wakes up in the morning the memory is gone and so is Keith.

 

**+1**

 

Lance dreams of Allura.

That in and of itself isn’t particularly unusual. It’s been a little over two years since the princess gave her life to save reality, to save all the realities, and during those years, Lance has dreamed about all of his teammates. He dreams about their time with Voltron, both the good and the bad, and he wishes he could say that the good dreams had always outweighed the bad ones the way they do now, but the war had left scars on all of them, most of them visible, but some of them not so much. Even now, at twenty years old and living on his family’s farm in the most peacefully chaotic atmosphere he can possibly imagine, he still occasionally wakes up from nightmares screaming so frantically that he doesn’t actually realize where he is until his mamá is at his bed side, running her fingers through his hair and whispering soothingly to him in Spanish.

The bad dreams are always worth it for the good ones though. The memories of when things were going right, of when they were together and happy, will always be worth a few nightmares. Lance can remember the rush of flying in space, egging Keith on until they’re both racing across the galaxy, both happy and momentarily care free. He can relive the sense of importance, the feeling that this was _it_ , they were getting to do something to help, something no one else could, that he’d originally felt when Allura and Coran had first explained Voltron to them. He remembers the happiness that always settled around him like his paladin armor whenever he and Pidge would pull pranks on the others. Or the warmth of every single one of Hunk’s “oh man, we made it, we’re still alive!” hugs. And the sense of family that would wash over him every time Shiro would roll his eyes at their antics and used his “space dad” voice.

Between Pidge, her brother, their father, and all the Altean technology on the Atlas, it had only taken them a few months to replicate the teledove technology, so even though they all meet up on New Altea once a year, Lance also sees the others pretty regularly in between that. Dreams are the only place he gets to see Allura anymore though (that statue doesn’t count; it’s a great way to honor her memory, but it could never capture her warmth or her spirit). So it isn’t unusual for Lance to dream about Allura.

What is unusual a little unusual is that this dream isn’t a memory.

Lance _always_ dreams in memories when it comes to his time with Voltron.  Good or bad, it’s always something that has happened before. Except that this time Allura is standing before him, her hair falling in gentle waves down her back, just like it had been when she’d first met them, the way she hadn’t really been able to wear it once things had started getting serious. She’s wearing an outfit that Lance has never seen before, but one that is obviously Altean. And when she smiles at him, there’s a softness in her expression that she could never afford to show during the war.

“Hello Lance.”

“Allura...” He feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes, because this is a version of Allura he hadn’t gotten the chance to see, but one that he desperately wishes he’d been able to.

The princess reaches up and places a hand on his cheek and he feels the familiar tingle that means his Altean marks are glowing. He sighs as he leans into the touch because he misses her. They all do.

“It was an honor flying with you, Lance.”

Flying with you. Not being with you, not loving you, but flying with you. There’s no bitterness in him at the words though. She _did_ love him at the end, the same way he’d ended up loving her. They’d been in the middle of a war, both scared and hurt and lonely and they’d never had the time to stop and realize how platonic the love they felt for each other had become (maybe always had been, at least for Allura). There’s nothing to be upset about. He had loved her as much as he could for as long as he could and she had done the same. It had been a comfort. But Lance has learned that there is so much more to love than just comfort. As if she can sense his thoughts, Allura strokes her thumb just along his cheekbone, something she’d never done in life. It strikes him just how similar it feels to when his mamá is doting on him.

“Now go.” her voice when she speaks is gentle, her smile still soft and happy, and Lance is reminded that he really did lover her that way once. Tears slip down his face at her next words and something in his heart shudders before bursting into life. “And take care of each other.”

When Lance wakes up the next morning, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, that that was the first and last time he would ever see Allura in his dreams like that. But it’s fine, the knowledge settling easily into him, because he will always carry her memory in his heart.

He isn’t even the least bit surprised when Keith shows up unexpectedly at his family’s farm that morning either.

Keith visiting happens pretty frequently, actually. Keith loves Earth and always visits it as often as he can and Lance’s house is more than big enough to accommodate a weary space traveler and friend. Also, Silvio and Nadia _adore_ Keith. Mostly because he always brings Kosmo along with him and no child could possibly resist loving a giant, fluffy space wolf that can teleport you around the house.

(“Tío!” Nadia had huffed in response to Lance’s inquiry one evening, “Of course we like Keith!”

“Yeah! He’s got his super awesome space wolf!”

“Well, yeah. But he’s good for you! Mamá says he makes your face soft!”)

Keith always parks his ship on a small uninhabited island a few hundred kilometers off the coast of the mainland where Lance lives. He uses Kosmo to take him the rest of the way and he always give Lance at least a days notice via the communicators they’d all kept to be able to stay in touch.

Which is why, though he isn’t terribly surprised that Keith has come to visit, he is momentarily surprised to find himself with a lap full of fluffy space wolf just as he’s sitting down to milk Kaltenecker. Pure reflex has him reaching out grab at Keith’s armor and keep from face planting into a cowpie. Kaltenecker doesn’t even startle at the commotion, just continues to chew on her feed and stare off into the distance. Spending a year living on a space castle/space robot lion made her immune to pretty much any disturbance.

“Hey, mullet!” Lance greets cheerfully.

“Hey.” Keith nods a greeting back before moving to the next cow, already settling down to help Lance complete his morning tasks.

It’s a funny sight to see: Keith with his “just a _little_ too long to still be a mullet” hair pulled back into a short ponytail and still in his Blade of Mamora armor, sitting down to milk a cow like he hasn’t just been out traveling the universe for weeks on end just to help make it a little bit better.

They fall into a comfortable silence though, both of them familiar with the routine that is technically only Lance’s. It’s nice to have this with Keith. Their relationship had been so volatile at first, so explosive, that it would have been hard for that Lance to ever picture this quiet ease that they have with each other now. The former blue paladin can also remember a time when he’d thought any chance they’d had at something like this had slipped away from them completely. A time where he was certain that the distance between them had gotten so big that he didn’t think that even using a teledove could get them back to where they’d been before. But after they’d all woken up in the hospital after defeating Haggar’s first Altean robeast, he and Keith had a long talk where they’d finally sat down with each other and taken the chance to say all the things that needed to be said.

About Keith’s reasons for joining the Blade (“I just thought...if I did that, I could help the coalition, maybe find out more about my mom, _and_ you wouldn’t have to worry about giving up Red.)

About the nasty fight they’d had when they were all stranded in space (“I didn’t even want you to leave in the first place. I guess I was just... waiting for you to leave again and trying to make it hurt less. I’m sorry.)

About Keith’s words during Bob’s “game show” (“I meant what I said. I _didn’t_ want to be stuck on some game show with you for eternity. But only because that would mean you would never get to go home. Sorry that I, uh, kind of suck at this whole “feelings” thing.”)

 Even about what it meant that they were going to be a team again (“Looks like I’m officially the leader again.”

“Looks like it.”

“And I’m definitely going to need my right hand man again. If-if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, man. It’s definitely okay.”)

And somehow, the distance Lance thought they couldn’t overcome, even with a teledove, actually turned out to be much smaller than he’d realized. They’d just needed words to build the bridge.

The day goes by quickly, Keith’s help means that Lance is done with his work much sooner than usual and the next thing he knows, dinner is over and Silvio and Nadia are both giving him they’re best sad eyes, trying to get Lance and Keith to take them with them to the beach. It’s not that the beach is terribly far from the farm, but it’s definitely enough of a drive that they don’t go unless they can make a day trip out of it.

Unless Keith and Kosmo are visiting.

“Next time, _chiquitos_.” Lance pats them both affectionately on the head. “Give me a chance to catch up with my friend, okay?”

“We can go tomorrow too.” Keith supplies helpfully because he is an absolute sucker when it comes Lance’s niece and nephew.

“Promise?” Nadia asks, eyeing them both suspiciously, like Lance isn’t her favorite uncle for the exact reason that he never breaks a promise to her.

“ _Promesa_.” Both Lance and Keith say in Spanish.

This immediately placates both children because Keith only knows a handful of words in Spanish, but he’d let Nadia and Silvio teach him all of them and so it’s come to mean _very serious things_ when Keith uses it. Lance grins as they both scramble off to find something else to entertain them, their excited voices already planning out all the things they’ll be doing tomorrow. Once they’ve disappeared from view, he turns to Keith, placing a hand on Kosmo and tangling his fingers into the thick fur.

“Ready?” He asks brightly.

Keith nods, mimicking Lance’s actions. “Always.”

And then –between one blink and the next- Lance’s living room is gone and the beach surrounds them.

The sun has just started to set as they both settle into the sand, just close enough to let the water lap gently at their bare feet. Kosmo takes off down the beach, dashing in and out of the spray as he sees fit. Lance places his hands on the sand behind him and leans back, sighing happily. They’ll stay out here far too late, they always do, until the sky is pitch black and the stars have been smiling down on them for a while. They’ll both end up leaning into each other for warmth, even though it isn’t even the slightest bit cold out. Lance knows all this, it’s been their routine pretty much ever since Keith started regularly visiting, and it makes him think about his dream, about Allura’s soft smile and her last words.

_Take care of each other_.

Lance had known in his heart what she’d been talking about, _who_ she’d been talking about. He’s not the same good intentioned but naïve young man that had stepped into a giant robot lion without a second thought and whisked himself and four other people off into space. He knows the world and himself so much better than he did then. He knows why Keith joining the Blade had felt like abandonment. Why he’d spent so much time both before and after discovering Voltron trying to keep up with the other boy. Why, from the very beginning, he’d been willing to reach out and wrap himself around him. Because Keith had needed that touch, that reminder that it was okay to be human and to need people. And Lance had wanted him to have that with an intensity that probably would have surprised him if he’d stopped to think about it. He hadn’t just given him that affection, that human contact, because he knew Keith needed it. He’d done it because _he’d_ wanted to be the one to give to him. And Allura’s right.

They’ve already been taking of each other in small ways, but it was time to go all in.

“Do you have to be Galra to be part of the Blade?”

Keith turns to look at him, eyebrows wrinkling in adorable confusion at the seemingly random question. “No? I mean I think probably you used to have to be, but now that we’re a humanitarian organization we have a lot of different races that work with us. Why?”

Lance shrugs, trying his best to go for nonchalant. “No reason.” The look on Keith’s face says that he’s clearly not buying any of that and it makes Lance laugh softly because they really do know each other too well. “I just...I love my family and I _needed_ this, to be with them for a while, but everything is back to how it was before the war and I...I miss the stars. So I was hoping that maybe I could get back out into space. That there might still be a place for me out there.” _All in_ he reminds himself, taking a deep breath to calm is sudden nerves. “With you.”

He peeks over at Keith and the other boy is looking at him like he’s something precious and maybe a bit like he’s afraid he’ll blink and Lance will disappear. “You want to join the Blade? ...With me?”

Lance turns to face Keith fully; trying to put everything he feels but doesn’t quite have words for yet into the smile he can feel slip across his face. “I meant what I said too.” At Keith’s confused look he elaborates. “I _do_ think you’re the future. And I want to be part of that future. To help you make it come true.”

Then Keith is reaching out to Lance, cradling the Cuban boy’s face between his hands. He’d changed out of his armor earlier into some spare clothes he keeps at the farm and his skin is warm and electrifying against Lance’s. Lance wants to close his eyes to savor the feeling, but he can’t seem to bring himself to look away from Keith either. There’s something crackling in the other boy’s eyes. Something big and dangerous and beautiful and Lance doesn’t want to ever stop looking at it.

“You realize that means you’ll probably have to spend a lot more time with me?”

Lance chuckles softly. “I think,” he whispers and he’s absolutely not trembling at the way Keith’s thumbs are caressing his face and leaving little sparks dancing across his skin, “that I could be stuck with you for eternity, _rojito_ , and it would still be pretty perfect.”

“Yeah,” Keith agrees softly, “it would be.”

And then they’re kissing. Lance isn’t sure who starts it, but it doesn’t really matter. Not when they’re finally here, together, and it feels familiar and brand new all at once. It’s not fireworks or a chorus of angels or a life altering revelation. It’s ocean waves and warm sand and Keith tilting Lance’s head just a little after they bump noses. It’s home and it’s perfect. The kiss is gentler than Lance imagined it would be, but there’s the promise of heat behind it too. The promise that Keith’s touch may be gentle now, but the other boy has always been fire and passion and there will be a time (hopefully soon) when Keith’s caresses won’t be gentle. They’ll send shivers up Lance’s spine and make his breath stutter in his throat and it will be just as perfect as this soft moment in the sunset.

There is so much more to love than just comfort and Lance is ready for all of it.

“Thank you.” Keith whispers breathlessly when they’re finally forced to break apart for some much needed air.

Lance cracks a smile. “Not usually the response I get after kissing someone but...you’re welcome.”

Keith huffs out a laugh, swooping in to place another quick kiss on Lance’s lips. “No, I mean thank you for being kind enough to reach out and touch a lonely kid from the desert. I’m pretty sure you saved his life.”

If Lance wasn’t already pretty much a pile of love struck goo, then that definitely did it. “You know,” He grins slyly, “You’ve met my family. If you don’t back out now, I’m going to have to touch you every day for the rest of our lives.”

“That sounds absolutely terrible.” But Keith sounds so fond, so relieved, as he says it that Lance can’t even pretend that he’s offended. Especially not when Keith’s hands slide to the back of his neck so he can guide their faces closer together. “Guess I’d better start getting used to it now then.”

Lance just lets himself sink into the kiss, well aware that Keith is already more than used to it. Which he should be. Lance has been working him up to it for the past three years after all.

 

  **______________________________**

**_your hand touching mine. this is how galaxies collide._**  
_**-Sanober Khan**_  
**______________________________**

**Author's Note:**

>  **Translations:**  
>  mamá - mom  
> princesa - princess  
> aficionados - amateurs  
> corazón - heart  
> rojito - I saw someone use this as a pet name Lance had for Keith in a fic once and the closest translation I could find was that it meant something along the lines of 'little red' which I absolutely LOVE and it will now and forever be Lance's nickname for Keith in my heart  
> Tío - uncle  
> chiquitos - little ones (often used as an affectionate nickname for younger family members)  
> promesa - promise
> 
> \-------
> 
> You guys... I got the idea for this fic and was like "oh I'm going to write a cute little one shot about touch starved Keith and Lance's one man mission to make it not a thing anymore" and then I word vomited. Everywhere. I had so many feelings about this show and I didn't even realize it. This took me almost two weeks of writing in a notebook in between classes and at coffee shops and then typing it up and...it just spiraled way beyond my control. 
> 
> Hopefully you guys liked it though?
> 
> I feel like I might have made Keith too soft here. I can never decide exactly how squishy I think he is. 
> 
> And also, for the most part -I'm sure I probably messed up somewhere- the change between Earth time keeping and Altean time keeping is totally intentional. At the beginning or their journey and after it was over and Lance had been back on Earth for a while, I figured his brain would lean towards Earth time, but smack dab in the middle of it I'm fairly certain they were all almost exclusively using Altean time so that's what I tried to stick with.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this! This fandom has really helped to bring these amazing characters to life for me, even more than the show, and I just wanted to try and give that to other people, even just a little bit. Also, I apparently needed to word vomit about some stuff. So thanks for reading!


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